Martial

For reasons unbeknownst to me, we here at Your Paper Boats have been getting a lot of traffic this month. And by a lot I mean more than 10 visitors a day. And it only took us a year and a couple months to reach this point. Surely this must be one of the fastest growing blogs on the world wide web! We're so proud of ourself that we feel the need to use the royal "we."


Seriously though, I am getting more visitors then I normally do (which doesn't take much) and I haven't been posting all that regularly, and my posts have included silly pet pictures, so I'm not sure what people are actually reading here. But in an effort to entertain whoever is stopping or stumbling by, here are some epigrams by Martial (taken from Norton's World Poetry anthology). Because there's nothing like an insulting poem to give your day that extra zing.


YOU ARE A STOOL PIDGEON
trans. Kenneth Rexroth
You are a stool pidgeon and,
A slanderer, a pimp and
A cheat, a pederast and
A troublemaker. I can't
Understand, Vacerra, why
You don't have more money.


SURROUNDED BY EUNUCHS
trans. William Matthews
Surrounded by eunuchs and limp as a tissue,
Alma blames hi Pollia for bearing no issue.


AGRICULTURE
trans. Fred Chappell
You've planted seven wealthy husbands
........While the bodies were still warm.
You own, Chloe, what I'd call
........A profit-making farm.